Walking out of a popular night club in Kampala, my friends and I could not help but notice a young lady on top of a car, clearly drunk, dancing away with a beer bottle in her hand. She was having the time of her life shouting and screaming without a care in the world as a group of girls cheered her on.
As we headed to our next destination we wondered, could we Ugandan women be turning into wild party animals? But we were just out having a few drinks, nothing wild. It is all just a bit of fun, going out and having a good time but what happens when the fun gets out of hand?
Over the years we have heard numerous stories about Hollywood party girls like Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Baines, Paris Hilton and Pamela Anderson constantly checking in and out of rehab as a result of their extremely wild party lifestyles. The stars of Hollywood are a world apart from us, but are our very own Ugandan women on this destructive trail?
How do you practically speak the love language of someone you love ?
Buy a pack of sticky notes. Leave at least one encouraging note a day where your loved one will notice. Comment on something you appreciate about them, something they did, or in relation to who they are. The more specific the message the better. (Relationship: Marriage, Family)
Next time you notice your loved one doing a particular chore or task, simply ask them what can you do to help. Even if they say no or not right now, the offer alone will mean the world. (Relationship: Marriage, Family, Friend)
Think of the most meaningful songs shared between you and your loved one. Search for the music videos of these songs and then add them to a public playlist you create on your YouTube account. Send and email or card containing the link inviting them to watch. Let them know you were thinking about them. The thoughtfulness—not dollar amount—will make this gift super special. (Relationship: Marriage, Couple)
Is there a local art museum in your city or town? If so, plan a visit with your loved one. Ask questions about how they feel and what they notice about the various works of art. Let their answers guide your conversation. (Relationship: Marriage, Couple, Family, Parent to Child)
Let your child know that you notice they are growing up. Ask them to measure their hands against yours—palms to palms—to see if they are catching up with you yet. (Relationship: Parent to Child)
Is Separation the End ?
Thousands of people experience marital separation every year. Many of them sincerely
want to know, "What should I do?" Here are some thoughts to guide you, or those
you love, through this process:
Don't assume that separation equals divorce. Separation just means that a marriage
is in desperate straits. Separation is not permanent and has the potential to even
lead to a restored, enriched, growing marriage. What you do in the weeks following
your separation will determine the quality of your life for years to come. Separation
is not the time to capitulate. Healing will require listening, understanding, discipline,
change. But hard work can result in the joy of a restored marriage.
I realize some may respond: "It sounds good, but it won't work. We've tried before.
Besides, I don't think my spouse will even try again. I'm not even sure I want to
try." I understand your feelings, but don't assume that the hostile attitude of
your spouse will last forever, or that your own feelings are permanent.
A gift to all of us is the gift of choice. We can change.
Your spouse may be saying: "I'm through. It is finished. I don't want to talk about
it." But three weeks or three months from now your spouse may be willing to talk.
Much depends on what you do in the meantime, and much depends on your spouse's
response to the Inner Spirit. You relax. You work.
But You should leave the results to your inner person.
Admitting my own imperfections does not mean that I am a failure.
Most troubled relationships include a stone wall between male and female, built over
the years. Each stone represents an event in the past where one of them has failed
the other. These are things about which people talk when they sit in the counseling
The male complains, "She has always been critical of everything I do. I've never
been able to please her." The female complains, "He's married to his job. He has no
time for me. I feel like a widow." This wall of hurt and disappointment
stands as a barrier to marital unity.
Demolishing this emotional wall is essential for rebuilding a troubled relationship.
Admitting your part in building this wall, does not make you a failure. It means
that you are human and are willing to admit your humanity.
Confessing past failures is the first step toward a growing marriages.