Saturday, February 15th, 2014
When we get into relationships, it is with hope that the significant other we have chosen to relate with, will treat us well.
Along the way, when we look at our friend’s relationships, we begin to question our own.
Well, if you are not sure, saddle up, you are about to find out whether you are getting the exact treatment you once longed for.·Reciprocated respect. Does your partner understand the real you. Not the person you pretend to be? They should be into you for the person you are, not who they are trying to make you be.
Or who they think their family would love. Do they appreciate your sense of humor? And not cringe at your fetishes?
Does your partner understand and backs off when you are not up for whatever it is they suggest you do? If they respect you and your relationship, they should value who you are and understand – never challenge – your boundaries..
Do posts from your other friends freak out and annoy your spouse? Do they make him doubt and question your friendship with these people? Or does your spouse keep his cool because he/she know you would never cheat on them? Getting a little bit jealous sometimes is acceptable and only natural, but if they react in a completely violent manner, then that is not a healthy relationship. You can’t be happy in a relationship that has little or no trust in it.
This is similar to trust. Because trusting someone who is lying to you is a hard task. Has your spouse ever told you a major lie?
Like they said they would be at their parent’s house for the weekend, only for you to find them at the local pub hours later, partying with friends.
The next time they say they have to work, believing them would be almost impossible because the trust would be shaky.
Are they always there for you? Even when things go right? Not just in the bad times? It’s not just in bad times that your partner should have your back.
In a healthy relationship, your significant other should be there when it hurts and you need to cry and to celebrate when you get a promotion at work.
Relationships should be give-and-take affair. Do you take turns choosing which movies to see? As a couple, do you hang out with your partner’s friends as often as you hang out with yours? It should be a pretty fair balance.
Things get bad really fast when a relationship turns into a power struggle, with one person fighting to get his or her way on every occasion.
Spouses need to make compromises. But that doesn’t mean you should feel like you’re losing out on being yourself. When you started going out, you both had your own lives (families, friends, interests, hobbies, etc.) and that shouldn’t change.
Neither of you should have to pretend to like something you don’t, or give up seeing your friends, or drop out of activities just because your partner doesn’t appreciate them.
And you also should feel free to keep developing new talents or interests, making new friends, and moving forward.
You’ve almost certainly heard lots of things about how men and women don’t seem to speak the same language. We all know how many different meanings the little phrase “no, nothing’s wrong” can have, especially if it’s a woman who’s saying it! But what’s important is to ask if you’re not sure what he or she means, and speak honestly and openly so that the miscommunication is avoided entirely. Never keep a feeling bottled up because you worry about sounding silly. And if you need some time to think something through before you’re ready to talk about it, the right person will give you some space to do that if you ask for it.