Tuesday, August 11th, 2015
Tooro women are known for the beauty, jollyness, attractiveness, soft speaking and easy way they handle themselves and those around them.
Their way of living mostly in relationship has been misinterpreted by others as women who easily give away their bodies.
So many people refer them as the most attractive and intimate when it comes to relationships mostly when sex is involved. They are known to be soft speaking, very calm and very gentle in the way they do or behave around their loved ones.
Truth behind batooro saying ‘omusaija tayangwa’ meaning a man is never rejected.
This has brought up so many mixed feelings and thoughts among other tribes or people in Uganda who mistakenly see Tooro women as simple “easy” prey to lure into sex activities. Some even think they are always sex hungry due to that mis-interpreted saying of “Omusaija Tayangwa”.
After a long time of the saying ‘OMUSAIJA TAYANGWA’ which most tribes twisted and turned into batooro’s slogan, amakuru team decided to find out why people have continued to abuse Tooro women and exactly what is the origin and meaning of that term/word.
We conducted a survey in a good number of batooro women aging between 24 to 65yrs to get to understand the relevancy of ‘OMUSAIJA TAYANGWA’ (meaning a man is never rejected) word and also find out how it has impacted their relationships.
We got many comments about the above saying of which many were furious about how people misinterpreted it. Infact they said, people outside Tooro think batooro women are prostitutes due to the twisting of the term.
According to Karungi Edvin 35, a business woman and resident of Rwengoma said that while staying in Mukono, she reached a certain point and started lying about her tribe simply because whenever she could tell a man she’s a mutooro, the first thing to follow was “when are we having sex because in your culture omusajja tayangwa”
Then Alinaitwe Linda 26, also elaborated how her relationship with her boyfriend Mubiru a muganda man failed because whenever Mubiru saw Linda talking to any man that was always a direct insult from him that “Do you want to sleep with that one too”. This forced Linda to leave the relationship where she was not trusted and respected.
Kabahinda Rose 29, her story is not different as her munyankole husband never trusted her even abit to point that he never allowed Rose to talk to his brothers or uncles thinking she could easily sleep with them.
Truth behind ‘Omusaija Tayangwa’ word
We decided to ask the elders and luck enough Kababiito Beatrice 67, a business woman in Fort Portal Town, a mother of 8 and grandmother of 6 sat us down on a long talk of how Omusaija tayangwa term started and why they emphasize it as isenkatimugole “Sengas” during the marriage or Kweranga preparations for Tooro women.
Beatrice narrates “I have given away more than 20 girls in marriage as isenkatimugole and I always emphasize omusaija tayangwa term to the brides. This mainly introduces them to how best they must behave while in their relationship or marriages.
Any tooro woman must be respectful, very obedient to her husband, never raise her voice while the husband is at home and always submissive to him during the intimate moment(s). However she adds that girls are always taught to stay faithful to their husbands no matter the situation or changes from his behavior.
Omusaija tayangwa ( a man is never rejected) is a saying they use to teach married women never to reject their husbands sex and so many other things in marriages that make them successful.
Kababiito told us that when she was getting married 45 years back, her aunt kabahweza immelda (RIP) told her the same things she’s telling young women. She said reason why she has been successful in her marriage for all the 45yrs is because indeed her aunt taught her well on how to behave as a true mutooro woman around her husband Alituha Amooti 75.
She added, when a woman fights with her husband and he later asks for something like food, tea, hot bathing water, clean clothes or better sex the woman should always accept and do it, not rejecting him because they fought or disagreed on something. Peace and happiness will always be in home and in that marriage.
Kababiito blamed people who depend on hearsay and avoid finding out facts. she added that such people twist such meaningful words and make fun and make fun of others hence causing more problems. She advised them always to contact the elders for information.
Isenkatibaana advised batooro women to love their tribe, be proud and stop feeling bad about it, giving them the following tips in their relationships:-
A woman is supposed to obey his husband and do what he requests sometimes not because you want to but for the sake of your marriage.
Women should always be calm, respect their husbands to the maximum even if your husband shouts at you, keep calm and quiet. Avoid talking or shouting back at him which could cause breakups in your marriage / relationship.
A woman should be the first person to know what her husband wants;, like the type of dish he loves, clothes to wear not letting the maids to do it all.
A man is always a man regardless of tribe, size, religion, rich or poor, once you accept to marry him, he must always be the best and your one and only, love and care about him to the fullest, never compare him to any other.
Communication is very crucial in marriages, know what both of you want and always resolve your problems amicably. Avoid 3rd parties in relationships.
Know each other’s weaknesses and try to overcome them by helping each other.
Your husband should be your best friend to have a successful marriage, don’t keep secrets because once he finds out from other people, it will be had for you to convince him, and in all, always pray to God to guide you in everything.
Kababiito concluded advising batooro women to keep respecting themselves and continue being faithful to their husbands to prove others wrong.
She told all girls who are planning to get married to always marry the men they love and follow their heart plus her tips for a successful marriage.
By Grace K. Akiiki